Christmas Letter 1999

A Christmas Checklist

Oh well-what's to tell,
Another year, shot to hell.
It's been coming at a steady pace,
Now Y2K is ready to take its place.

Stock up on guns & butter, cigarettes & beer,
Pills & potions & all you hold dear,
Y2K is drawing near.

Make sure the firewood is stacked up high,
Make it nicely split, good & dry
Y2K is drawing nigh.

Fill up the tub, gas up lantern, campstove, & car,
Say goodby to friends at the local bar,
Y2K is not very far.

Batteries, candles, matches, Swiss Army knife & cash,
Long red woolies and the map to your stash,
Y2K is on its last dash.

Better hedge your bets, kneel down and pray,
Make your peace with the world today,
What will happen-who can say,
In the world of post Y2K.

Allan

P.S. He's ever the optimist-but we're not worried!   Wishing you all a joyous Yuletide.  Trish and Perot

 


 To reprise:  Oh well-what's to tell, another year, shot to hell.  I've become a total Disorganization Man.  Christmas snuck up on me and if it weren't for the wife and dog it might well have snuck right on past!

Farm Report

It was another strange and unique year for crop production. Gardens East and West both did quite well nurtured by lovingly and liberally applied loads of BS and HS/straw (compliments of Trish's uncle and the Pawhuska Fairgrounds). We had plenty of green stuff, red stuff, yellow stuff, orange stuff, and miscellaneous stuff to keep us healthy for years to come. It was an amazingly long season. We were still picking peppers and tomatoes the day before Thanksgiving (a Thanksgiving freeze finally put everything out of its misery). And we'll have the last of the fresh tomatoes for Christmas.

Trish enjoys playing with the fish in our pond. She fondles and caresses them and gives them all sorts of TLC. I think they've become pets and she may never have the heart to eat them. She also enjoys aiding the local bluebirds by setting out nest boxes and food and has enjoyed watching our original box produce double broods the last two years. Wildlife out on the range can be fierce. The last two years we've been battling rampaging armadillos that seem bent on doing our trailer in. They tunnel under the wheels and we're afraid one day we'll discover the trailer collapsed in the ground up to its hubs.

The bees were a disappointment this year. I started an additional hive, which did OK considering it was its first year. The original hive, however, didn't do diddly squat. Hard to figure cause we had a lot of wildflowers this year. I was half tempted to take the paltry amount of honey they did produce and just let them starve this winter-but I was too soft-hearted. On top of everything else they make the most screwy assed cattywampous comb anybody's ever seen. It's got everyone puzzled. Bees-bah humbug!

Perot Report

Our one and only ersatz child, Perot, continues to be - Perot. Mr. Sweetie around his parents, maternal grandma, and Aunt Ginny, obnoxious and unpredictable around casual aquaintances, a terror to the neighborhood children, and distinctly and decidedly unfriendly towards strangers. Big news of the summer is that Perot got lucky at bingo and used his winnings to build a second mansion in Pawhuska, dubbed Perot West (the Bartlesville mansion is Perot East). We should all be so lucky.

Home Report

I'm still brewing up a storm. I figure by now the countless tons of aluminum and glass that I haven't used have probably saved about a zillion barrels of oil required for their manufacturer. If you go through the calculations that works out to a reduction in the rate of global warming by roughly 1000 µK/year. I feel like such a boy scout, but I require no thanks, I'm happy to do it. It's my contribution to the Greater Good.

We still pick, and we still grin, and sometimes we even do both at the same time. We plan to have a gang over for New Year's Eve for some serious picking and grinning. We hope to make enough noise and cacophony to ward off the evil spirits of Y2K. Or at least we'll have fun trying.

Now I want remind everyone not to celebrate the new millennium prematurely. Don't be fooled by the advarice of the media, the gullability of the Greater Unwashed, or the ignoranti generalia that lies heavily upon the land. We still have a year to wait.

I'm still slowly learning HTML. I had great plans for Cowell's Corner this year past and somehow they never happened. If you find yourself lonely, bored, without a date on Saturday night, or otherwise unoccupied, check http://www2.mmind.net/a7t occasionally. I just might possibly perhaps maybe start doing various holiday pages for fun.

We didn't travel much this year. Actually haven't much for years. Those of you who are active and on the move are always welcome to drop in and sit a spell. Hope you all have a merry Christmas and a wonderful holiday season and we wish you all the best for the coming year.